Well dear, at first it was a proper mystery. How I came to be here I mean.
I mean I didn’t expect this, to be up here in this bed, on a Wednesday and all. One minute I was in Asda stacking the baguettes and next minute I’m here. And the bed’s not that comfortable I can tell you. Hospital beds never are.
How did it happen? Well….nice of you to take an interest like. Bit of a disagreement I think with one of those trolley things, you know, with all the trays of bread on. Must have tripped cos suddenly a lot of those trays came clattering down on me in a rush of wholemeal, and me on the floor all covered in croissants. Knocked myself out on the corner of the freezer cabinet where they keep all them posh cakes, chocolate promissibles and such.
Out cold I was so they brought me in here. Ambulance came and everything. Ever such a nice young man he was, the paralytic! He took a good look at me and said he was worried I might have infernal bleeding. I didn’t like the sound of that but they said a night in hospital wouldn’t be a bad idea.
And yes of course, I was worried about that. I don’t want to be a bed stacker which is what hospitals are full of these days you know. So I tried to tell them I was ok but they insisted.
And once I got to the hospital, well…..it is huge this place is. They put me on a trolley and pushed me along colander after colander to A and E and then along a few more colanders until they put me in this bed.
Yes, it’s very nice in here really. There’s quite a nice view. I can just see the car park from here and I can watch people trying to kick the pay and display thingy.
Oh, thank you, a magazine. That will be nice to read. Of course we have all this pubescent lighting in here which is nice and bright. And oh look, there’s some good pictures of Angelina Holy. I’ll enjoy that.
It’ll be supper time soon. They gave me a bit of paper with a menu on and I had to tick what I wanted. I’m going to have spaghetti Casablanca. I shall feel quite continental. Might as well try and enjoy myself while I’m in here.
I’m sure they’ll let me go home in the morning. They’ve given me some antibiotics and they just want to make sure there’s no irrigation. I did once get a bit irrigated by Penicillin and came out in a rash, but they have given me different stuff this time.
Anyway, thank you dear for popping in. Tell Mr Cummings I’ll be back in my overall soon among the baguettes. And you take care of yourself. We don’t want any more apostrophes.